The second installment (and maybe the last, they're just a bit draining to write) of what my life is like daily living with Multiple Sclerosis. You can read the first installment here ...
It’s just after 9am. Steve is at work. The kids are at daycare.
I’m standing in the shower as the warm water rushes over my head. I probably shouldn’t have the water as hot as it is but it feels so good on my tired, aching body -- the body that woke up only two hours ago.
I close my eyes as I take in the warmth -- a quiet, relaxing moment. I open my eyes again and wonder how long I’ve had them closed. It feels like forever though I’m sure it’s only been a few seconds.
As I lift my arms up to wash my hair, they feel swollen and heavy. I’m sure the temperature of the water has something to do with it but any cooler and my body would tighten up making every joint feel brittle and stiff.
I tilt my head back to rinse out the shampoo. My neck and back begin to tingle. A shock travels quickly down my spine.
I think it’s about time I get out of the shower.
My body tenses at the change in temperature as I step out onto the tile and wrap the towel around my body. Not good. While the swollen feeling in my arms starts to subside, a feeling of heaviness overwhelms them as they try to adjust to the temperature of the room.
My hair is still dripping wet. I wrap a towel around my head and then stop to take a look in the mirror.
Who is this person staring back at me? The dark circles, eyes looking bloodshot and drained. Where did I go? What has happened to me?
I shake the thought out of my mind.
Time for make-up, make-up to hide my tired face. Maybe if I try to hide the tiredness then I’ll forget about it. It’s worth a shot. I put on my moisturizer and then cover-up as I try to hide the circles so dark that nothing seems to mask them anymore. As I raise my arm to put on my eye shadow, it feels like it’s taking way too long for the brush to reach my eyelid, way longer than it should. Every reach feels like a draining task but I keep the movement going.
What was I looking for again? I lost my train of thought. I was too focused on my arms.
It will come to me.
Oh right, mascara.
I glace at my watch. It’s been about 20 minutes since I stepped foot in the shower and I still have to finish getting dressed and dry my hair. I must keep my routine going. No time to stop or my body will remember it’s tired. I still have the whole day to go.
Having a shower and getting ready has made me tired. I just want to lie down on the bed but I know that won’t help. The minute I stop, my whole day will be shot. I’ll just want to lounge around and do nothing.
As I start to head for downstairs, I walk by the mirror that’s hanging on my bedroom wall. I take a quick glance as I keep walking, my legs feeling heavier with every step, my knees feeling like they’ve swollen to the size of melons. The tingling is still very much present in the bottoms of my feet, up my legs, in my cheeks and down my neck. My arms feel long and heavy like I’m wearing weights around my wrists.
It’s another day.
Here we go again.
Just got to keep on s'myelin!
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