Drained

I'm laying in bed right now, trying to rest my tired mind and weary body. I can barely move a muscle. My body feels like dead weight.

I hear Lucas downstairs banging something. Now I hear his little feet pounding on the ground, climbing up the stairs. The door to my room swings open.

"Momma", he says, "can I play outside?"

"Honey, It's eight o'clock. It's almost bedtime."

"I just want to go outside and play for a little bit. Can we?"

I'm tired, so tired right down to my aching bones. I can't even fathom getting out of this bed and moving my exhausted body, but I will. I will because my son needs me. I will do anything for my family regardless of how tired and weak I am.

And while he's having a meltdown on the floor as I type, my body is feeling even more drained. I'm mustering up every last bit of energy I have to console his sadness -- sad because the day is almost over, it's eight o'clock, time for little boys to go to bed, not outside time.

The sun will rise again tomorrow, my sweet child.

The wedding is off

Last Sunday we went to Adams Park for a picnic/BBQ with our friends Jake and Kelly, their kids Ella and Jack, and a few of their family members.

Ella was born a year and a half before Lucas but the minute he laid eyes on her, it was love at first sight. If you were to ask him if he had a girlfriend, with no hesitation he would clearly say Ella. That was until yesterday. We were sitting in McDonald's (our weekly meal before soccer) when Lucas made the announcement...

Lucas: I'm done with marrying Ella. I'm going to marry my sister.

Steve: You can't marry your sister. She's related to you.

Lucas: But I want to marry my sister because she's nice.

At the end of the BBQ, Ella and her cousin were playing catch together. Lucas had tagged along with Ella all day and Ella just wanted it to be the girls playing catch. Lucas got a bit upset at the fact that Ella didn't want him around.

And that was the moment they broke up.

I'll admit it, I was kind of sad when the announcement came. For five years, there has only been one girl for Lucas and now it's over. Hopefully it will be a short break-up because I was looking forward to having Ella as my daughter-in-law.

I am...

cursing at Blogger for not saving my last long blog entry. I shake my fist at you...grrr!

Morning beauty

After taking the lid off the sandbox so Isabella could play, I happened to glance over at the garden and noticed that my clematis finally decided to make an appearance. Summer really is on its way!

Look, no wheels!

One of the best things about being a parent is watching your child succeed. The proud look on their face and the joy a parent feels is just priceless.

Lucas achieved one of his goals this weekend. With my camera in one had and video camera in the other, I watched as Lucas took his first bike ride without training wheels. It was one of those father/son moments never to be forgotten. Helmet, elbow pads, knee pads, just shy of his body being covered in bubble wrap, he swayed back and forth a bit and then took off. Now we just have to work on breaking.

Sharing donuts

Steve: We’re going through the drive-tru, Lucas. Do you want anything? Would you and your sister like timbits?

Lucas: I want a donut with sprinkles.

Steve: Ok, but we’re only getting one donut and you have to share with your sister.

Lucas: I already know that. That’s why I asked for a donut and not two donuts. I'm going to break it in half and give her one half. You didn't have to tell me. I already knew I was going to do that before you told me ( eye roll eye roll).

Bernice & Me

I'm just reading my MRI report that the doctor faxed over to me. It says my brain is leaking....um, leaking? MY BRAIN IS LEAKING??? Wait a sec. Oh no, no-no. I read that wrong. It says lesions, not leaking. Phew, that was close. Crappy fax ink!

So, what does the report really say? A bunch of jib jab fancy schmancy big ass medical terms when all it really needs to say is "There are x amount of lesions/plaques...here, here and here" with a nice diagram of the brain and spinal column showing the location and size of each one. Really, is that too much to ask for? Thankfully, I took Medical Administration in College and used to work in a hospital so I can figure out some of what's being said in these reports. Ha ha...trying to outsmart this blond-haired, blue-eyed Canadian, eh?! Nice try Dr. Ginzburg, MD FRCP (C) LMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ ...now I know my ABC's. Next time won't you sing with me.

So, here it is...because inquiring minds what to know!

MRI HEAD

Multisequence multiplantar MRI of the head was performed using an MS protocol.

There are multiple hyperintense foci in the white matter of the cerebral hemispheres, several of which are oriented perpendicular to the ventricles, highly suggestive of demyelination. The largest is in the left posterior parietal white matter and measures 1.5 cm.

None of the lesions enhance with gadolinium. Therefore There is no definite evidence of current activity.

There you have it folks, my brain is leaking....um, I mean has lesions (nothing I didn't know already but there seems to be more showing now than on my last MRI nine years ago).

Ok, it's about time my 1.5 cm foci and I head to bed (I think I'll call her Bernice). At least I'm not loosing my mind like I initially thought.

The bench

Back in January, I saw a storage bench at Homesense . I thought it might be the perfect size for under the window in our family room to hold some of the kids toys and for some extra seating. Of course, I hummed and hawed too long (3 hours to be exact) and by the time I went back, the bench was gone. I've been dreaming about this bench ever since. Well, today the sky cleared and the sun started shining (ok, ok, it's been grey out all day and just finished pissing rain) because there was the bench again screaming BUY ME!!!!! Lesson of the day, people... if you see it, buy it because you can always return it later. I tell myself this all.the.time but obviously I have yet to listen. Now I know who my kids take after in the listening department..Hmmm.

Ready to burst

Flowers are such a tease these days. So many of them are this close to bursting open. I've been waiting for days for my clematis to show it's petals. There's always tomorrow. Thankfully, my bleeding hearts were there to satisfy my craving.

I am...

cleaning before the cleaning lady comes tomorrow.